Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So much rum. So many feels.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
