idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
