i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize