the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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