Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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