if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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