I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
