They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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