come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
