Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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