im holly from the hills drunk
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
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