Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
