If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
