when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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