hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize