smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
