brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
