if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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