At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
