i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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