What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
