so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
