Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize