i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I got inside last night via doggy door
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
