The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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