he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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