Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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