just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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