Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
