Well douche your snatch and let's go!
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
