i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
