We won't sleep together?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
