Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
