I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
