ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
