i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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