Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
