Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
they need to just BURY HIM!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
