that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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