garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
