I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
