she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
