So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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