i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
