you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
my liver is dry heaving
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
