They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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