We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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