TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
