Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
