kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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