dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
