Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
