it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
