Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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