Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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