What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
