White coat. Heels.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
