he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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