Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
