trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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