Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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